Browsing Quotes By George Carlin
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When people say “clean as a whistle,” they forget that a whistle is full of spit!
Speaker: George CarlinPosted: 10 Nov 2014 at 11:17 AMComments: None... Be the first to comment! -
When I was a little boy I used to read about the decline of western civilization. And I decided it was something I’d like to make a contribution to.
Speaker: George CarlinPosted: 10 Nov 2014 at 11:16 AMComments: None... Be the first to comment! -
You know why hurricanes have names instead of numbers? To keep the killing personal. No one cares about a bunch of people killed by a number. “200 dead as Number 3 slams ashore,” is not nearly as interesting a headline as, “Charlie kills 200.” Death is much more satisfying and entertaining if you personalize it.
Speaker: George CarlinPosted: 10 Nov 2014 at 11:16 AMComments: None... Be the first to comment! -
I love and treasure individuals as I meet them. I loathe and despise the groups they identify with and belong to.
Speaker: George CarlinPosted: 10 Nov 2014 at 11:15 AMComments: None... Be the first to comment! -
The decay and disintegration of this culture is astonishingly amusing if you’re emotionally detached from it. And I’ve always viewed it from a safe distance.
Speaker: George CarlinPosted: 10 Nov 2014 at 11:14 AMComments: None... Be the first to comment! -
When you’re born, you get a ticket to the freak show. If you’re born in America, you get a front row seat.
Speaker: George CarlinSource: 7 Dirty WordsPosted: 12 Jan 2014 at 3:52 PMComments: None... Be the first to comment! -
Laughter is our response to injustice.
Speaker: George CarlinSource: 7 Dirty WordsPosted: 12 Jan 2014 at 3:49 PMComments: None... Be the first to comment! -
Religion is just mind control.
Speaker: George CarlinSource: OnlinePosted: 10 Feb 2009 at 10:56 PMComments: None... Be the first to comment! -
I’m not concerned about all hell breaking loose, but that a PART of hell will break loose… it’ll be much harder to detect.
Speaker: George CarlinSource: OnlinePosted: 10 Feb 2009 at 10:53 PMComments: None... Be the first to comment! -
Some people see the glass half full. Others see it half empty. I see a glass that’s twice as big as it needs to be.
Speaker: George CarlinSource: OnlinePosted: 10 Feb 2009 at 10:50 PMComments: None... Be the first to comment! -
If people stand around in a circle for long enough, they will eventually begin to dance.
Speaker: George CarlinSource: Napalm and Silly PuttyPosted: 10 Feb 2009 at 10:33 PMComments: None... Be the first to comment!