Browsing Quotes With Tag: humor (154)
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Meetings are an addictive, highly self-indulgent activity that corporations and other organizations habitually engage in only because they cannot actually masturbate.
Speaker: Dave BarrySource: 4 Hour WorkweekPosted: 26 Aug 2008 at 8:24 AMComments: None... Be the first to comment! -
The first principle is that you must not fool yourself, and you are the easiest person to fool
Speaker: Richard P. FeynmanSource: 4 Hour WorkweekPosted: 26 Aug 2008 at 7:44 AMComments: None... Be the first to comment! -
Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one.
Speaker: Albert EinsteinSource: 4 Hour WorkweekPosted: 26 Aug 2008 at 7:41 AMComments: None... Be the first to comment! -
Ordinarily he was insane, but he had lucid moments when he was merely stupid.
Speaker: Heinrich HeineSource: 4 Hour WorkweekPosted: 26 Aug 2008 at 7:39 AMComments: None... Be the first to comment! -
A positive attitude may not solve all your problems, but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort.
Speaker: Herm AlbrightPosted: 23 Aug 2008 at 10:58 AMComments: None... Be the first to comment! -
We hang the petty thieves and appoint the great ones to public office.
Speaker: AesopPosted: 23 Aug 2008 at 10:37 AMComments: None... Be the first to comment! -
Anyone who is capable of getting themselves made President should on no account be allowed to do the job.
Speaker: Douglas AdamsPosted: 23 Aug 2008 at 10:36 AMComments: None... Be the first to comment! -
Human beings, who are almost unique in having the ability to learn from the experience of others, are also remarkable for their apparent disinclination to do so.
Speaker: Douglas AdamsPosted: 23 Aug 2008 at 10:35 AMComments: None... Be the first to comment! -
You live and learn. At any rate you live
Speaker: Douglas AdamsPosted: 23 Aug 2008 at 10:34 AMComments: None... Be the first to comment! -
Life… is like a grapefruit. It’s orange and squishy, and has a few pips in it, and some folks have half a one for breakfast.
Speaker: Douglas AdamsPosted: 23 Aug 2008 at 10:33 AMComments: None... Be the first to comment! -
There are two kinds of people: those who finish what they start and so on
Speaker: AnonymousPosted: 21 Aug 2008 at 3:29 PMComments: None... Be the first to comment! -
When angry, count to ten before you speak; if you’re very angry, count to a hundred.
Speaker: Thomas JeffersonPosted: 21 Aug 2008 at 3:20 PMComments: None... Be the first to comment! -
The formula for a good speech: Have a good beginning, a great ending, and keep the two as close together as possible.
Speaker: AnonymousPosted: 21 Aug 2008 at 2:54 PMComments: None... Be the first to comment! -
Smile well and often. It makes people wonder what you’re up to.
Speaker: Sachel PaigePosted: 21 Aug 2008 at 2:52 PMComments: None... Be the first to comment! -
Take what you do seriously, but don’t take yourself seriously.
Speaker: Steven JohnstonPosted: 21 Aug 2008 at 1:44 PMComments: None... Be the first to comment! -
Words mean things.
Speaker: Rush LimbaughPosted: 21 Aug 2008 at 1:37 PMComments: None... Be the first to comment! -
Never let a fool kiss you or a kiss fool you.
Speaker: AnonymousPosted: 21 Aug 2008 at 1:20 PMComments: None... Be the first to comment! -
You either have to laugh or cry. I prefer to laugh. Crying gives me a headache.
Speaker: Gordon B. HinckleyPosted: 21 Aug 2008 at 9:13 AMComments: None... Be the first to comment! -
“I’ve found out why people laugh. They laugh because it hurts – because it’s the only thing that’ll make it stop hurting.
“...the goodness is in the laughing. I grok it as a bravery… and a sharing… against pain and sorrow and defeat.”Speaker: Robert HeinleinPosted: 20 Aug 2008 at 11:55 AMComments: None... Be the first to comment! -
“Man is the animal who laughs,” Jubal answered. … “Man born of woman and born to trouble… and some day you will grok its fullness and laugh – because man is the animal that laughs at himself.”
Speaker: Robert HeinleinPosted: 20 Aug 2008 at 10:54 AMComments: None... Be the first to comment!