Browsing Quotes With Tag: humor (154)
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How do people, like, not curse? How is it possible? There are all these gaps in speech where you just have to put a “fuck.” I’ll tell you who the most admirable people in the world are: newscasters. If that was me, I’d be like, “And the motherfuckers flew the fucking plane right into the Twin Towers.” How could you not, if you’re a human being? Maybe they’re not so admirable. Maybe they’re robot zombies.
Speaker: Nick HornbyPosted: 20 Aug 2008 at 8:54 AMComments: None... Be the first to comment! -
The cure for unhappiness is happiness, I don’t care what anyone says.
Speaker: Elizabeth McCrackenPosted: 20 Aug 2008 at 8:45 AMComments: None... Be the first to comment! -
Almost anything he wants to do can be done, not only without the disapproval but with the admiration of his fellows, if only it can get itself treated as a joke.
Speaker: C.S. LewisPosted: 20 Aug 2008 at 8:36 AMComments: None... Be the first to comment! -
Humor involves a sense of proportion and a power or seeing yourself from the outside.
Speaker: C.S. LewisPosted: 20 Aug 2008 at 8:00 AMComments: None... Be the first to comment! -
Every night at bedtime, when I ask Logan [the younger son] to tell me the best part of his day, he always answers: “Playing with Dylan.” When I ask him for the worst part of his day, ha also answers: “Playing with Dylan.” Suffice it to say, they’re bonded as brothers.
Speaker: Randy PauschPosted: 20 Aug 2008 at 7:58 AMComments: None... Be the first to comment! -
My mother, meanwhile, knew plenty, too. All my life, she saw it as part of her mission to keep my cockiness in check. I’m grateful for that now. Even these days, if someone asks her what I was like as a kid, she describes me as “alert, but not precocious.” We now live in an age when parents praise every child as a genius. And here’s my mother, figuring “alert” ought to suffice as a compliment.
When I was studying for my PhD, I took something called “the theory qualifier,” which I can now definitively say was the second worst thing in my life after chemotherapy. When I complained to my mother about how hard and awful the test was, she leaned over, patted me on the arm and said, “We know just how you feel, honey. And remember, when your father was your age, he was fighting the Germans.”
After I got my PhD, my mother took great relish in introducing me by saying: “This is my son. He’s a doctor, but not the kind who helps people.”Speaker: Randy PauschPosted: 20 Aug 2008 at 7:47 AMComments: None... Be the first to comment! -
The problem with designing something completely foolproof is to underestimate the ingenuity of a complete fool.
Speaker: Douglas AdamsPosted: 07 Jul 2008 at 9:13 PMComments: None... Be the first to comment! -
Shee, you guys are so unhip it’s a wonder your bums don’t fall off.
Speaker: Douglas AdamsPosted: 07 Jul 2008 at 9:12 PMComments: None... Be the first to comment! -
I demand justice. Or, if there must be injustice, let it be in my favor.
Speaker: Ashleigh BrilliantPosted: 12 May 2008 at 6:40 AMComments: None... Be the first to comment! -
That’s just a little more exciting than licking Wonder bread.
Speaker: Evan MacDonaldPosted: 11 Apr 2008 at 4:59 PMComments: None... Be the first to comment! -
I am so gangster. Even I don’t know my gangster potential.
Speaker: Joel NielsonPosted: 26 Mar 2008 at 4:37 PMComments: None... Be the first to comment! -
He learns it from me because I be sneaky, too!
Speaker: AzhyrPosted: 20 Mar 2008 at 7:33 AMComments: None... Be the first to comment! -
I can’t handle being a child…its no fair!
Speaker: AzhyrPosted: 20 Mar 2008 at 7:31 AMComments: None... Be the first to comment! -
I’m just not sure how well this plan was thought through.
Speaker: T-RexSource: Disney's Meet the RobinsonsPosted: 03 Mar 2008 at 1:25 PMComments: None... Be the first to comment! -
90% of being smart is knowing what you’re dumb at.
Speaker: ThinkGeek.comPosted: 21 Feb 2008 at 2:07 PMComments: None... Be the first to comment! -
They better watch out or they’ll be AOL.
Speaker: Chris WallacePosted: 15 Feb 2008 at 2:30 PMComments: None... Be the first to comment! -
If that idea was a popup ad, I wouldn’t click on it.
Speaker: Bryan WilliamsPosted: 14 Feb 2008 at 2:51 PMComments: None... Be the first to comment! -
UNIX is basically a simple operating system, but you have to be a genius to understand the simplicity.
Speaker: Dennis RitchiePosted: 12 Jan 2008 at 3:18 PMComments: None... Be the first to comment! -
I’ve got some medicine for you. They’ve got 200 milligrams of slow-release Brazilian caffeine. I only take them on Sunday…gotta stay awake on the stand….
Speaker: DougPosted: 19 Dec 2007 at 11:37 AMComments: None... Be the first to comment! -
A word to the wise ain’t necessary – it’s the stupid ones that need the advice.
Speaker: Bill CosbyPosted: 18 Dec 2007 at 10:12 PMComments: None... Be the first to comment!